United Kingdom
I am an Accredited Sexual and Relationship Psychotherapist and Psychotherapeutic Supervisor.
Individuals with sexually compulsive behaviours e.g. PORN:
I am additionally qualified to work Online, (UK/worldwide) helping people overcome embarrassment and/or shame, or those in the public eye needing this extra level of anonymity. I have a much experience working with people that have Sex/Porn/chat/hook up/escort/anonymous sex addiction. You and your partner are likely to feel a great deal of despair if you have continually engaged in the aforementioned activities & you may know how hard it is to stop these behaviours. You may still have your head in the sand, but you can be sure that the effects of this compulsive behaviour will be registering with people that are close to you e.g. Partner & children, (yes, children pick up on moods and behaviours
Individuals afraid of straying onto illegal websites, or charged under UK legal system with sexual offences:
It can be very easy when bored with the usual Porn sites to start wondering ‘what else is out there’? With all compulsions, people have to dial up their behaviour to keep getting a hit. If you are worried this may be you, or if you have been charged & need help to gain insight into your behaviours & want to stop/prevent acting out, please contact me. I have specialist training for working with these situations & also with traumatised partners.
Partners of individuals with sexually compulsive behavours:
You will equally be feeling in despair, powerless, outraged and above all betrayed. You will ask yourself on many occassions if this is true or just a nightmare. You will wonder if naming ‘sex addiction’ as the problem, is just an excuse for unacceptable cheating behaviour and no doubt you will loathe your partners behaviour. You will not know if you want to end the relationship or if it can ever be saved, if you have the strength to forgive? I have a lot of knowledge and experience of working with partners and couples in this situation and I can help you work through the difficult emotions, rebuild self-esteem and then you may be better equipped to make big decisions about your relationship.
Fetishes:
Many people are very embarassed to seek help for their sexual ‘obssessions’. Again I have considerable experience of working with many different types of fetishes and I am only interested in how I can help you to stop acting out these behaviours (if that is your wish), not about anything with an embarrassing potential.
If you are experiencing any of the above difficulties or other sexual problems, I would be delighted to hear from you. Please see my website http://www.castawaytherapy.com for full information.
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I am a therapist.
I am a therapist.
As my website http://www.londonsexaddictiontherapy.co.uk reflects, I’m an integrative, accredited psychosexual and relationship therapist with vast experience at working successfully with with all kinds of sexual compulsivity including issues around porn, escorts, with BDSM, fetish and illegal habits. I’m warm, down to earth, unshockable and have a lot ways to help you gain control of your triggers and work out what you want from love, sex and your life in general.
My qualifications include a PGDip in Psychosexual and Relationship Therapy, an advanced diploma in couples therapy, a certificate in sex addiction and compulsivity and training in “alternative” sexualities with Pink Therapy. I’ve featured in publications including The Times, The Telegraph, The Daily Mail, The Sun and Men’s Health. I’ve also been a guest on LBC and Radio 4’s Women’s Hour.
MBACP Senior Accredited Counsellor and Supervisor, ATSAC Member from 2011, Professional Certificate in Sexual Addiction Dublin. Providing treatment for sex and porn addiction clients, partners, couples with sex and porn addiction Belfast and Bangor, Co. Down NI and online in UK and Ireland.
Additional Information: I have almost 30 years experience as a couples therapist and 17 years as a clinical supervisor. In order to meet the diversity of clients needs, I offer a holistic assessment framework and an integrated approach in working with sex and porn addiction. I also provide CPD training and counsellor supervision in sex and porn addiction. I hold a Relate Certificate in couples counselling.
I have 13 year’s experience as a counsellor working with a wide range of issues, and have specialist training in sex and pornography addiction.
If you’re concerned about your sexual behavior, pornography usage (or combination) then you might be further along the path of recovery than you think. Even beginning to acknowledge that you may have a problem is a massive step, because many people stay in denial. Sometimes it’s a crisis like the loss of a job or relationship that brings people to seek help.
An addiction is said to be an ‘out of control’ relationship with a behavior or chemical. You might spend a lot of time thinking about it when not using, and, there is most likely been a long-standing pattern of repetitively engaging with it, despite harmful consequences to your life. You’ve probably tried to stop before, but not been able to stay reliably stopped. If you’re usage has escalated, you’ll have been left needing more to have the desired ‘high’ effect. Oftentimes, after using, there are strong feelings of guilt, shame and regret.
Because sex and pornography addiction are particularly shame bound, it makes it hard for people to seek help and support from friends or professionals.
How can counselling help?
Increased tolerance often results in users going deeper into their drug or behavior of choice maintain the high, and this can result in high levels of shame and self-loathing. Often, being able to speak with someone without fear of judgement can offer some Immediate relief.
We can look at the impact of behaviors on your relationships and other areas of life, helping you can decide what to do. Counselling can help you understand how addiction is sustained, and offer some tools to strengthen recovery.
I’m an Integrative Counsellor, which means that I can draw on a number of theories and tools that can inform and shape how we work together. However, in my experience one very important factor is the quality of the therapeutic relationship. This means that the relationship feels safe for you to express how you feel, be understood and feel valued without judgement. Sex and pornography addictions are often entrenched in shame. Shame is an incredibly painful and destructive feeling that thrives in secrecy and fear of judgement. However, in the presence of empathy and understanding it looses its power. Shame is thought to be a powerful ingredient in addiction, so it is important that we create the right environment to work with it.
I can only work with adults, people over the age of 18.
If you are accessing illegal material or harming other people then we are unable to work together and the law requires me to report it. In this case you should consider speaking to someone on the Stopitnow Helpline (0808 1000 900) who can offer you assistance.
To help decide if we can work together, offer a free, 20 minute telephone call to check this out, without obligation. I offer counselling on Fridays, in the East Belfast area. Email me on stuartkirkcounselling@outlook.com to set this up.